Afinal ser parisiense também é ser Insatisfeita...
Mostrar mensagens com a etiqueta iLaugh. Mostrar todas as mensagens
Mostrar mensagens com a etiqueta iLaugh. Mostrar todas as mensagens
19 abril, 2016
10 Ways To Be Parisian - Insatisfeita - with Caroline De Maigret
Afinal ser parisiense também é ser Insatisfeita...
12 janeiro, 2016
Programa a Duas - Girl's Night Out - Sisters
Mais uma vez, a youzz foi porreiraça e convidou-me e a uma amiga para irmos à antestreia do filme "Sisters" com a Tina Fey e a Amy Poehler, duas gigantes da comédia, no dia 23, mesmo antes do Natal.
Tarefa complicada, mas que tinha que ser levada a cabo...
Esta dupla, para mim, equiparável aos clássicos Laurel & Hardy, têm uma simbiose de comédia que só pode dar uma comédia hilariante.
E esta é, sem dúvida, a receita de uma noite divertida.
Uma noite de amigas, com risota do início ao fim, só podia correr bem...
Tão bom!
05 janeiro, 2016
06 dezembro, 2015
A Dificuldade! A Dificuldade Que é Comprar Uma Prenda Para o Homem!
1.
You think he wants: a tie
For
some reason, guys are supposed to get excited about a piece of
intricately tied cloth that hangs unnecessarily from their necks. Unless
this tie features the keys of a piano (in which case, it's awesome)
don't waste your money.
He really wants: bondage stuff
You don't need to spend money on fancy schmancy stuff to give your man a thrill. Take a tie that's already in his closet and let him strap you to the bed tonight. Or, the other way around if that's what floats his boat.
2. You think he wants: tools
Everyone knows you're not a real man unless you are in possession of a toolbox filled with all manner of wrenches, pliers and screwdrivers that you'll never use.
He really wants: a handyman
Let's face it: He doesn't know the difference between a Philips and a flathead—and that's OK. Secretly hire a handyman so he doesn't have to pretend to know how to fix shit. He'll be thankful and so will you.
3. You think he wants: shaving stuff
Apparently, having a disposable razor and a can of Barbasol is no longer enough. Since when are men expected to spend more time grooming the hair on their faces than we girls spend on our lady parts?
He really wants: a no-shave day
Give your guy permission to opt out of the moustache grooming/Amish beard-growing trend.
4. You think he wants: ride-on lawnmower
A ride-on lawnmower screams, "I'm lazy as fuck but I care about my grass." Owning this piece of machinery will not increase your guy's manliness. It will just make him fatter with a farmer's tan.
He really wants: for you to tell your girlfriends he has a huge penis
It's a gift that costs nothing and will give him a huge ego boost. If you're feeling really generous, tell the people that work at the dry cleaners, and the post office and the grocery store checkout, too.
Most women do the cooking at home, but when you bring the food outdoors and add fire, suddenly it's the man's domain. But what if he doesn't get excited by a spatula and tongs?
He really wants: dinner out
Skip the charcoal and take him to a nice steakhouse that doesn't have a commercial featuring a gravy boat of Jack Daniels syrup being slowly poured over a cheap cut of meat.
6. You think he wants: fishing stuff
When was the last time your guy said, "Honey, I wish I could spend all afternoon sitting in a row boat with a cooler full of worms and PBR"?
He really wants: a party boat
Allow him to drive it, even if he doesn't know what he's doing. (And make sure to call him "Captain.")
7. You think he wants: Swiss Army knife
Since he is no longer a Boy Scout and his needs to
whittle are fairly limited, leave this one at the store.
He really wants: a samurai sword
If you can get it signed by Randy Jackson, even better.
8. You think he wants: man purse
I know it makes sense—he could put his book and his lunch and his balls in there.
He really wants: plastic shopping bag
Just stop bothering him for carrying his shit in a CVS bag. If you want to be nice, double-bag it for him.
9. You think he wants: fine whiskey
He knows he's supposed to be a connoisseur of the single malt, but why make him feel bad if he thinks it all tastes like cough medicine?
He really wants: Straw-Ber-Rita
Give him permission to sip his pre-bottled margarita in peace.
10. You think he wants: a greeting card
You can go ahead and spend half an hour in Walgreens selecting the perfect sentiment— just know that your $4 card is going in the garbage as soon as you leave the room.
He really wants: a blowjob
Rumor has it that men really like these. Much more than cards.
No fim disto tudo, ele só quer que eu não gaste o meu dinheiro.
Para depois não lhe pedir do dele.
He really wants: bondage stuff
You don't need to spend money on fancy schmancy stuff to give your man a thrill. Take a tie that's already in his closet and let him strap you to the bed tonight. Or, the other way around if that's what floats his boat.
2. You think he wants: tools
Everyone knows you're not a real man unless you are in possession of a toolbox filled with all manner of wrenches, pliers and screwdrivers that you'll never use.
He really wants: a handyman
Let's face it: He doesn't know the difference between a Philips and a flathead—and that's OK. Secretly hire a handyman so he doesn't have to pretend to know how to fix shit. He'll be thankful and so will you.
3. You think he wants: shaving stuff
Apparently, having a disposable razor and a can of Barbasol is no longer enough. Since when are men expected to spend more time grooming the hair on their faces than we girls spend on our lady parts?
He really wants: a no-shave day
Give your guy permission to opt out of the moustache grooming/Amish beard-growing trend.
4. You think he wants: ride-on lawnmower
A ride-on lawnmower screams, "I'm lazy as fuck but I care about my grass." Owning this piece of machinery will not increase your guy's manliness. It will just make him fatter with a farmer's tan.
He really wants: for you to tell your girlfriends he has a huge penis
It's a gift that costs nothing and will give him a huge ego boost. If you're feeling really generous, tell the people that work at the dry cleaners, and the post office and the grocery store checkout, too.
I know it makes sense—he could put his book and his lunch and his balls in there.5. You think he wants: grilling stuff
Most women do the cooking at home, but when you bring the food outdoors and add fire, suddenly it's the man's domain. But what if he doesn't get excited by a spatula and tongs?
He really wants: dinner out
Skip the charcoal and take him to a nice steakhouse that doesn't have a commercial featuring a gravy boat of Jack Daniels syrup being slowly poured over a cheap cut of meat.
6. You think he wants: fishing stuff
When was the last time your guy said, "Honey, I wish I could spend all afternoon sitting in a row boat with a cooler full of worms and PBR"?
He really wants: a party boat
Allow him to drive it, even if he doesn't know what he's doing. (And make sure to call him "Captain.")
7. You think he wants: Swiss Army knife
He really wants: a samurai sword
If you can get it signed by Randy Jackson, even better.
8. You think he wants: man purse
I know it makes sense—he could put his book and his lunch and his balls in there.
He really wants: plastic shopping bag
Just stop bothering him for carrying his shit in a CVS bag. If you want to be nice, double-bag it for him.
9. You think he wants: fine whiskey
He knows he's supposed to be a connoisseur of the single malt, but why make him feel bad if he thinks it all tastes like cough medicine?
He really wants: Straw-Ber-Rita
Give him permission to sip his pre-bottled margarita in peace.
10. You think he wants: a greeting card
You can go ahead and spend half an hour in Walgreens selecting the perfect sentiment— just know that your $4 card is going in the garbage as soon as you leave the room.
He really wants: a blowjob
Rumor has it that men really like these. Much more than cards.
No fim disto tudo, ele só quer que eu não gaste o meu dinheiro.
Para depois não lhe pedir do dele.
30 setembro, 2015
29 setembro, 2015
Há Coisas Que Simplesmente Não Correm Bem
Há testes que simplesmente não deves fazer... Escolher o teu par pela caligrafia não me parece grande ideia, principalmente quando sabes que, na verdade, ele tem uma letra horrível...
Vá, na verdade, os traços chave de personalidade estão correctos...
25 setembro, 2015
26 agosto, 2015
Conversas de Escritório ou As Coisas Que Se Ouvem Num Hospital
Olhe, disseram-me para vir às consultas estérnicas!
Está na consulta externa, minha senhora. Posso ajudar?
Disseram-me para vir às consultas estérnicas para uma consulta de ortologia, que o mê marido foi operado à mama.
Não minha senhora, o seu esposo foi discutido e encaminhado para a Oncologia. Foi de lá que a chamaram.
Desculpe lá, mas a mim disseram-me para vir às consultas estérnicas!! No 5º!!
Então, no 5º piso é a Oncologia. É lá que deve ir à consulta.
Tá bem! Estas (...) não sabem nada!!
30 julho, 2015
Agora Para Um Momento Extremamente Íntimo - Sabes Que Estás A Ficar Velha...
14 julho, 2015
Conversas Irreais
-Boa tarde, estou a ligar da consulta de Senologia relativamente a um exame que vai fazer a lisboa...
-Da consulta de pneumologia?
-Da consulta de Senologia, da consulta da mama...
-Ah, mamologia!
-Senologia, Senologia...
-Ahm?
-Consulta de Senologia, da mama!
-Ah, mamologia...
-Senologia, meu senhor, senologia de seios, a consulta da mama!
-Ah, tá bem!
-Estou a ligar relativamente a um exame, que já está marcado para o dia x...
-Então mas estava a ligar-me por causa duma consulta e agora está falar-me dum exame!
-Eu estou a ligar-lhe da consulta. A ligar-lhe da consulta por causa de um exame que marcámos!
-Ah, já estou a ver. Atão e o exame é feito aí?
-Em lisboa, meu senhor...
08 julho, 2015
Sou Tão Parecida Com a Minha Mãe
Já sei mais ou menos como vou envelhecer.
07 julho, 2015
Hoje Disseram-me Que Eu Sou Exótica
Será que é por causa da minha pele branca ligeiramente amarelada?
26 maio, 2015
12 abril, 2015
Quem?
Puto - Quem é o senhor quente?
Eu - Quem?
Puto - o senhor quente? Como se chama?
Eu - Não estou a perceber filho... O senhor quente?
Puto - Sim! O super-homem quando não está vestido! Como se chama?
Eu - (a disfarçar o riso) Clark Kent, filho, Clark Kent.
06 março, 2015
Conheces-me, Homem Sem Blogue?
Virgem (Eu)
Podem não ter qualquer vaidade física ou necessidade de um parceiro com atributos físicos. Ou têm a necessidade de desenvolver uma saúde perfeita. Por norma, optam pela primeira hipótese. Como tal, prezam mais o cérebro. Os dentes são vistos como um fetiche deste signo.
Sagitário (Ele)
Quadris e pernas é com ambos os sexos. Eles não resistem a umas pernas bem feitas. Não são de grandes romantismos e preferem uma boa aventura a dois.
18 fevereiro, 2015
Adoro os Testes do Facebook
~
He would describe you as a Spicy Wife
You are a highly enthusiastic and spicy wife. You have a deeply romantic side and at times even a reckless side. You are not afraid to try new things and be adventurous when the opportunity arises. You love creating amazing memories with your partner, and involving them to try new experiences all the time. You're relationship is always full of excitement and enthusiasm, and for that, your partner is ever grateful.Ahahahah!
15 novembro, 2014
09 outubro, 2014
06 outubro, 2014
Tablet(e)s
Pipoca - Mamã, quando tu eras pequenina, os únicos tablets que existiam...
Eu - Não existiam tablets quando eu era pequena...
Pipoca - Não, os únicos tablets que existiam eram os de chocolate, não era?
01 outubro, 2014
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